Inside a Black Circle

January 2012

2012-02-07T23:18:00.002+08:00

Simula pa lang ng taon, ang dami ng nangyari. Roller coaster ride! May mga events na hinihika na ako sa kakatawa... pero meron din namang events na tumodo iyak din ako.

January nag-birthday sina Mariel, Rose, Marc, at Mara. Kanya-kanyang handaan, at lahat ng yan eh tumodo tawa rin naman kami sa kwentuhan! Bonding moments na rin yan ng barkada ng Almeda kaya ayun, todo chikahan din kami sa mga bagong pangyayari sa mga buhay namin.

Bukod sa Barkada ko, anjan din ang mga orgmates ko [specifically, Internals committee at mga alumni nito]. First time ko rin magpalipad ng paper hot air balloon (or kung ano man ang tawag doon!) Syempre, sinulatan muna namin ng mga wishes namin... sana nga eh matuloy eh.

Umarangkada rin ang lovelife ko... well, maliban dun sa 'new girl' ko. Lahat ng mga naging crush ko eh bigla bigla ko na lang nakakasabay sa jeep lahat! Si Oliver naman, ayun, mas naging close kami ngayon sa org. Pero gaya nga ng sabi niya, wag daw akong mag-expect sa kanya. Pero honestly, the fact na nagiging kakwentuhan ko siya eh sobrang enjoy na ako! Alam ko naman na hindi kami para sa isa't isa kahit na may feelings ako sa kanya.

Iyakan naman. Bukod nung bday ni mara, umiyak ako once. Bakit? dahil kay jellah. Hindi naman ako galit sa kanya... and hindi rin ako nagalit. More of napikon. Nag-expect kasi ako na mabibigyan ng credit yung ginawa ko para sa Org namin...pero in the end, hindi naman pala. Na-disappoint ako syempre. Tapos ayun, natarayan at nasigawan pa niya ako... nagkahalu-halo na kaya naiyak na lang ako. Anyway, okay na kami ni Je. Kahit na hindi pa niya sinasabi sa akin yung dahilan niya kung bakit niya ako tinarayan, for sure eh maiintindihan ko pa rin siya in the right time.

Kaliwa't kanan din ang events ni David Archuleta para ipromote yung mini-serye niyang NANDITO AKO sa Tv5... kaya ayun, ubusan pera at paguran sa pila ang inabot ko. Pero worth it naman lahat kasi nung napanood namin kanina yung premier ng teaser ng mini serye, grabe!!! Imagine David crying!!! at hindi lang sa isang scene ah, marami!!! And imagine David punching someone!! And imagine Aiko Melendez na kinakaladkad si David!! Grabe!! susubaybayan ko talaga yan!!

And I think that's all na nangyari sa akin! Pero again, super thankful ako sa mga friends ko kasi sinamahan nila akong maka-survive sa unang buwan ng 2012!! Lalong lalo na kina Mariel, Mara, Tasha, at syempre kay Joyce (na kahit wala sa Pinas eh ramdam na ramdam ko pa rin ang presence niya)! :D :D :D Super thanks talaga!!! Kasama rin sa mga nagpatawa at nagbigay kulay sa january ko sina Annlou, Ferdyn, Rose, Ydelle, Erika, Marc, Airii, Oliver, Paolo, Ced, Jochie, Jellah, at iba pa! Plus yung mga orgmates kong sina Addie, Kuya Paulo, Ate Niqo, at Ate Emma!! :D :D :D Super thanks sa inyong lahat!!! :D

New Year's Resolution

2012-01-03T19:28:00.002+08:00

May nagsabi sa akin kanina na hindi na daw dapat gumagawa ng new year's resolution ang mga tao...kasi, sa hinaba-haba ng listahan, for sure daw eh isa lang din naman ang magagawa niya. Well, sa akin naman, I don't care kung isa or dalawa lang ang magawa ko. At least, ALAM ko yung mga bagay na gusto kong baguhin sa sarili...kahit hindi ko man mabago.

So, here it is! my new year's resolution!

1. GOD. Mas magiging religious ako ngayong 2012. Dapat eh perfect attendance ako sa mga sunday mass at sa iba pang mahahalagang pagdiriwang ng simbahan. :D BANAL ako eh! :D :D :D

2. STUDY. Mas maging focus dapat ako sa studies ko. kailangang bumawi. :(

3. FRIENDS. Well, i need much more trust. :D :D :D and I need to be understanding. More bondings sa 2012!!!

4. FAMILY. I will spend more time with my lola. :D

5. ORG. Mas magiging active pa ako sa Arirang. And I swear, kahit na naga-apply ako sa MSS, Arirang pa rin ang priority org ko.

6. LOVE. hmmm... 'pause' siguro muna ako kay oliver. Kay *** naman, well, umaasenso naman ang lovelife niya with other guy...so, 'pause' din muna ako. I need more time para masigurado ko sa sarili ko na gusto ko nga talaga siya.

7. iLOVEcrushCLUB. Tataasan ko na ang standards ko sa mga boyhuntings natin! :D :D :D And, more chikahan and bonding moments!! At sana umunlad na ang mga lovelife niyo [pag 25 na ako magkaka-lovelife gaya ng sabi sa hula!]!!

8. FAN. Mas susuportahan ko sila David Archuleta, Robi Domingo, August Band, Witwisit Hiranyawongkul, at ang B1A4 [Baro bias]. Pero watch out pa rin sa gastos...kailangang mag-ipon.

9. KPOP. Kumpletuhin ang albums ng Shinee at B1A4(soon) na available dito sa atin.

10. MOVIES. Kailangan ko ulit maging active sa panonood ng mga films at movies lalo ang mga asian films.

11. YAOI. read more fanfics. read more manga. watch more anime. watch more liveaction. :D :D

12. lastly, I will always be POSITIVE. :D

Ilan kaya ang ma-achieve ko??

Gay Lingo

2012-01-03T19:27:00.002+08:00

Shagiddy shagiddy shappopo
Julaan ninyo ang mga say ko
If na-achieve, wag mawiwindang
Sa mga ISSUES na jujulantad

Sinetch itey na time for myself ang drama
faraway fairytale ang kwento sa mga klasmarurut
Nagsimula kay Regal Baby
Lately kay Moody Diaz
Then nagtuloy-tuloy na kay Bitter Ocampo

ang simula: REGAL baby
Pocahontas ba naman sa mga James Bond
Then na knowssung ni lola na nag- over-da-bakod na pala
since friendster pa ang role ni lola, kineri muna niya ang lahat

pero FACEbook na si lola lately
dahil kay MOODY diaz
ang clue: warla sa berangjju
Sino ba naman ang hindi Rita Avila
eh zirowena pa!
Cynthia ang say niya kay lola!

Kaya today, allergic sa mga utaw si lola
over-da-bakod din ang drama
bahala na...
:D

***May mga bagay talaga na gusto ko man i-share sa mga kaibigan ko eh hindi ko pa rin pwedeng sabihin sa kanila. Kaya eto, gay lingo ang solusyon. :D At least, 'message sent' na ako...kayo na bahala kung mare-'receive' niyo. :D

Ang mga LIHIM ni... Melo!

2011-09-11T21:02:00.000+08:00

First time kong bumili ng isang original VCD sa astroplus. Madalas kasi, yung tig-50 pesos lang na mga fake dvd jan sa bangketa. Yung madalas eh 12 in 1 kaya naman, talagang masasabi mong sulit ang 50 pesos mo. Pero this time, kahit 125 pesos ito, talagang binili ko pa rin. Favorite ko yata itong "Ang lihim ni Antonio"!

Bakit ko ito favorite??

Simple lang. Kasi nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa kanya. Yung kwento ng buhay ko [hindi man ganun ka-eksakto], mga kaguluhan sa isip ko, at ang mga pinagdaanan at mga pinagdadaanan ko.

"Ako si antonio. Tong ang tawag sa akin ng mga barkada ko. Sa friendster, pwede niyo i-search, Tong de Guzman. Ang nickname ko naman sa chat "antz_15". Sa online games, "ton bato", yun ang tawag sa akin. Pero kahit marami akong pangalan, hindi ako nalilito. Masaya kasi yung ikaw ang pumipili ng pangalan mo eh... ng character mo."

True. Masayang pumili ng pangalan mo. 'Amiel' ako sa mga elem. friends ko, 'Melo' naman nung High School, 'Melo Melosantos' ngayong college, 'Memem' sa mga kamag-anak ko, at 'Melissa' naman kapag gabi na. Kung wild, maingay at madaldal ako sa mga kaibigan ko, mahiyain, tahimik at isnabero naman ako sa mga college classmates ko. Sa mga ka-fans club ko naman, makwento ako at masarap daw akong kakwentuhan. Sa mga ka-orgmates ko, tahimik on the outside, malandi in the inside naman ako. Masaya maging iba't ibang tao depende sa kaharap mo.

"Bakit ganun? Kapag pinanganak tayo, binibigyan agad tayo ng pangalan. Hindi man lang tayo nakakapili ng gusto nating pangalan. Sa bagay, ganun naman yata talaga sa buhay eh. Madalas wala tayong choice. yung iba ipinapanganak na malas. Yung iba naman ipinapanganak na... okay ang buhay."

True again. Buti na lang, pinanganak akong maswerte... habang may mga nakabuntot na mga kamalasan. Kaya eto, takbo lang ng takbo para hindi abutan.

"Kung totoong may soul tayo, tinatanong kaya tayo kung saan natin gustong ipanganak? May choice kaya tayo kung gusto nating maging lalaki... babae... bakla... tomboy?? May choice ba tayo kung sino ang gusto natin maging magulang? Ano kaya kung sa amerika ako ipinanganak? o kaya sa afghanistan?"

True! Kung totoong namili ng katawan ang ating mga soul, adventurous siguro yung soul ko sa simula pa lang. Yung tipong alam niyang babae siya pero sa katawan ng isang lalaki pa rin siya pumunta. Tapos, yung pamilya pa niyang pinuntahan, yung nanay galing sa 'sarado-katoliko' type at yung tatay galing naman sa 'tunay na lalaki: macho at babaero' type pa. Adventure nga naman! Hahaha!!

"Sabi nila, bago pa daw ipagbuntis si Jesus, sinabi na ang anghel sa nanay niya kung sino siya at kung ano ang purpose niya dito sa mundo. Sana lahat tayo ganon din... nasasabihan ng malinaw kung sino ba tayo talaga dito sa mundo."

Haii... ang hirap pag-isipan kung ano ba talaga ang misyon natin sa mundong ito. Misyon ko kayang maging partylist representative ng Ang Ladlad?? O kaya naman eh president ng Babaylan?? Or what if national coordinator ng Anakbayan?? Or the next exclusive director ng mga teleserye ng ABSCBN?? Or next actor/actress sa MMK?? O kaya naman eh ang most sought-after metallurgical engineer sa buong mundo?? Ano nga kaya?? Para naman hindi na ako nagsasayang pa ng effort sa pag-aaral... or para naman makapag-focus ako ng mabuti.

Masyado nang maraming nangyari sa buhay ko. Naging enemy number one na ako nung HS, naging tagapagtaguyod ng kalandian at kabaklaan sa almeda, nakapasa ng UPCAT, sumali sa UP Arirang, nagmahal ng sobra-sobra kahit walang kapalit, nakapaglasing sa debut ni eka, nabitter sa isang tao at nagkalat ng bitterness virus sa iba pa, naging premier chismis source ng mga kaibigan ko, nagbenta ng mga basura, nangopya at nagpakopya nung NAT, nag-overnight kina Angel, nakamayan at nakapagpapirma kay David Archuleta, at nakapanood ng Harry Potter 3D. Masyado ng marami. Alin kaya jan ang bahagi ng misyon ko sa buhay? Alin naman ang pagsasayang lang ng oras?

"Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong matutunan sa mga nangyari sa akin. Masyadong mabilis...magulo. Kung tatanungin niyo ko, hindi ko rin alam ang sagot. Baka ganun talaga... diskarte ko na lang siguro kung ano ang kahulugan nito sa akin."

Jan naman ako magaling eh...ang dumiskarte.

Random

2010-10-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

5:00 am - Start

“Ikaw, para kanino ka bumabangon?” A famous line in the recent Nescafe commercial. A simple question but honestly, I can’t answer that. I am not doing it for my parents. For my friends? well, probably yes. For schooling? hmmm, maybe. For grades? somehow. For others? honestly, I don’t care much about them. For my future (if ever) lovelife? I think so. For me? most likely yes. OK! I’m selfish!! Haha!! But one thing is for sure, I definitely don’t have concrete plans for the future and I don’t usually think of it.

6:00 am – Travel

Mahirap maki-ride sa buhay. Lalo na sa mga taong, well, hindi mo talaga trip makasama. “Just go with the flow” yeah right! Maki-ride na lang talaga. No choice ka eh. Ako, masasabi kong iba na ako ngayong college. Kung tatanungin mo ang mga kaklase ko kung sino ako, madalas kang makakarinig ng sagot na hindi nila ako matandaan. Baka nga magdalawang-isip pa sila kung naging kaklase ba talaga nila ako eh. Tahimik lang ako. Hindi nagsasalita kapag hindi kailangan. Sa likuran nakaupo, ung malapit sa pinto. Ayoko ko kasing makipag-usap sa mga tao. Para saan pa?? makakalimutan din naman nila ako. Isang sem lang din naman kami magkakasama. Plus, hindi ko na kailangan pa ng kaibigan. Marami na ako niyan. 4aver pa lang eh… Honestly, wala ako sa mood maki-ride. Ayokong makipaglaro sa kanila na kunwari gustong-gusto ko ang ugali nila pero hindi naman talaga. Basta. Mas nag-eenjoy akong maging tahimik ngayon. :D

7:00 am – Physics Lecture

Gravity. Magnetism. Optics. Boring… Nonsense actually. Hindi rin naman kayang i-explain ng theory of magnetism kung paanong na-aatract ang isang tao. Hindi rin kayang ipaliwanag ng kahit anong formula ng optics kung bakit kumikislap ang paligid pag dumaan na ung taong gusto mo. Gravity?! Cheesy pero, bakit ako na-fall sa kanya?? Gravity pa rin ba?? Para sa akin. Nonsense ang physics. Lalo na pag ang prof mo eh parang nagsasalitang libro lang. siguro nga magaling siya sa physics, pero bakit lahat ng sinasabi niya, un din ung nababasa ko sa libro? Kaya masarap mag-cut eh, babasahin ko na lang kesa pumasok ako sa klase. kung bumagsak ako? alam ko naman sa sarili ko na hindi na-achieve ng course ang mga objectives nito sa case ko. Pero syempre, sana pumasa pa rin.

8:00 am – Break

Pahinga na. ngayong college ko na-realize ang kahalagahan ng pagtulog. “You’ll never know the real worth of a thing until it is gone” totoo nga. Binibili na ngayon ang pagtulog. And I can’t afford it. Break ko na pala. Pahinga muna ang utak sa information overload. Sana, may “break period”din ang mga tunay na problema sa tunay na buhay. Pero wala eh. Pag may problema, kailangan mong harapin ng todo-todo hanggang matapos ito. Nang walang pahinga. Haii… Buti pa ang mga problem sa exam, pag hindi mo alam, pwede mong balikan. Sa life, kung ano ang nasa harap mo, no choice ka. Kailangang harapin mo.

10:00 am – Math 54 (calculus II)

Isa pang nonsense. Pero ito, mejo lang… mejo nonsense. Integrals, Partial Derivatives. Linearization. Ano pa ba? Haii… pag tinanong mo ang prof mo kung kailangan ba talaga ang calculus sa buhay, asahan mo nang prepared silang sumagot. Magbibigay sila ng mga applications. Mapapa-oo ka naman… pero to think of it, nangyayari ba ung mga ganung sitwasyon sa buhay mo?? Hindi rin naman. Basic arithmetic lang, ok na lahat. Pero since required, no choice ka kundi intindihin at i-absorb ang lahat ng formula. Ano kayang mangyayari kapag hindi na ito required?? Feeling ko, hindi na ako mapapadaan sa math building. As in!

11:30 am – Chemistry Lecture

“Dark Arts” lang daw ang mga problema sa buhay at sa chem 17. Kailangan lang daw namin matutunan kung paano sila harapin para maging OK ang lahat. Kaya nga “Defense Against the Dark Arts” ang ginawang course title ng prof ko sa subject na chem 17. Sa tingin ko, ganito talaga kahit sa life. Magkakaiba ang mga problema, parang virus lang. mabilis mag-mutate. Madalas pang maki-cross-breed sa iba. At higit sa lahat, nakakahawa. Sa bawat virus, isa lang ang antidote. So, kung mabilis silang mag-mutate at mag-cross-breed, iba’t ibang antidote din ang kailangan mo. In short, hindi mo rin naman maaaral lahat ng dosage ng bawat antidote. pero pag alam mo na ang flow ng paggawa ng antidote, kahit anong virus pa yan, matatalo mo. Defense against the dark arts talaga.

1: 00 pm – chemistry lab

Problema na naman. Sorry ah, problema kasi talaga ang ka-partner ng mga subjects eh. Pero ito, mas enjoy!!! Cute ang prof at close siya sa akin! I mean, sa aming LAHAT palang estudyante niya. Haii, may girlfriend na nga pala siya. Well, sabi nga ni ced, bullshit happens… simple lang ang natutunan ko dito. Kailangan mo lagging magdala ng laboratory kit para ma-test mo ang lahat ng bagay at para makita mo kung paano sila nagre-react sa bawat stress na ia-apply mo sa kanila. Halimbawa, kung papatay ka ng tao, try mo siyang painumin ng sulfate at para hindi ka mahuli, haluan mo rin ng thiosulfite at sulfide para mag-interfere sila sa mga examinations. Kapag mag-cucut ka naman, mag-iwan ka ng calcium ions sa classroom niyo. Kapag may nakitang ka nang brick red na apoy, ibig sabihin, hinahanap ka ng prof mo sa klase. Grabe!!! Satisfied na satisfied talaga ako sa subject na ito!!! Amazing!!! Kung hindi ko lang talaga type ung prof ko, nag-drop na ako.

4:00 pm – going home

“lucky I’m in love with my bestfriend…” wow!!! Ang ganda naman ng kanta sa jeep. Parang gusto kong sabihin sa singer na, “weh?????? Sure ka??? Parang hindi naman ‘lucky’ eh!!!” hahahaha!!! You know the story na… so, no comment na nga lang ako. It’s complicated. Pati sa mrt, nagpapatugtog na rin. Party like it’s the end of the world! Party like its 2012!!! End of the world na nga ba sa 2012??? Grabe, OBVIOUS naman sa paligid di ba?!?!! Mukhang NAGHAHANDA talaga ang LAHAT ng tao!!! Hahaha!!! What if, totoo ang 2012?? Well, simple lang ang sagot jan.

Mag-ipon ka na para makabili ka ng ticket sa “big ship”!!! Siguraduhin mo rin na nasa China ka na bago pa magkaubusan ng mga flights sa airport!!! Hahaha!!!

5:00 pm – Lunch

Wow!!! On-time di ba?!?! Uso na talaga ngayon ang mga WRONG TIMING. Lunch pa lang eh. Pati sa panliligaw,marami ang wrong timing talaga. Pati sa mga gala, kung kelan bangag ang mga tao, saka nagkikita-kita! Hulaan niyo kung anong ginagawa. Siyempre, TUMATAWA! Walang katapusang pagtawa. Bangag eh. Pero sa lahat ng wrong-timing, ito ang pinaka-gusto ko. Enjoy!!! As in!!!

7:00 pm – The wrap

Part yan ng buhay ko noh?!?! [sa mga hindi nakakaalam, isang 10-minute show yan sa studio 23 every weeknights] Jan ko nababalitaan lahat ng latest sa Hollywood, bollywood, kpop,at pati na rin sa kasalan nina mariel at robin. Marami kang matututunan jan. tulad ng, pwede nang mag pre-order ng mga Justin Bieber Dolls na ibebenta ngayong pasko. Na walang girlfriend si Jay Park. Na magkakaroon ng bagong drama series si Lee Min Ho. Na nagkakaroon na ng association of Hollywood actresses against Botox. Lahat ng mahahalaga, nandito sa show na ito. :D LOL.

9:00 pm – dinner

Gusto ko ng magka-boyfriend. Hindi naman siguro yan bago sa pandinig niyo. Ang saya kaya. Magde-date kayo, kakain kayo sa labas, susunduin ka niya, ihahatid pag uuwi ka na, itetext ka kung kumain ka na ba, at higit sa lahat, may mga sweet surprises!!!!btw, gusto ko nang mabuntis.and since imposible, nananawagan ako sa inyo na magpabuntis na kayo!!! Aalagaan ko kayo! As in!! natutuwa ako sa buntis ngayon! Hahaha!!! Lakas trip talaga ako minsan… I mean, madalas pala.

10:00 pm – sleep

Sa mga oras na ito lang ako masaya. Napapanaginipan ko ang iba’t ibang lalaki na nanliigaw sa akin. Hahaha!!well, libre lang managinip!

1:00 am – wake up

Ok, review na for the exam tomorrow!! Weird ang schedule ko noh?! Ganito talaga. Sa mga oras na ito ako emo. Sa mga oras na ito, hindi ako pwedeng mag-isip. Or else, maiisip ko lang na non-sense mag-aral so, hindi ako nakaka-review… ang kailangan ko lang gawin ay mag-aral ng mag-aral… at kapag may nag-play na kanta sa radio na memorable, pause muna…. Reminisce… and then, back to aral uli.

****

Ganito ang buhay ko for five months now… and for the next three (or four) years… kelan kaya ako mamamatay?? Mahirap isipin. Nakakatakot. Kung sa deathnote, sa “nothingness” napunta si Light nung namatay siya, ako kaya?? What if, inampon na lang ako ni L at pinalaki sa whammy’s house, tatalino kaya ako tulad nila Near at Mello??? Kapag ba bumalik ako sa O-bar, mapi-pick-up ako??? Kapag ba naging straight guy ako, mas masaya kaya?? Kapag ba naging manager ako ng AN.JELL, magagalit ba ako pag nalaman kong babae si Go Mi Nam??? At kung may naging sexual relationship na si Ar*** dati, maging ako kaya ang kanyang future?? Random questions… with no definite answers. Maraming pwedeng mangyari… at equal ang kanilang probabilities. That’s what makes life wonderful!!!

TELL-ALL SERIES: The Great Eastern Celebration

2010-09-04T15:43:00.001+08:00

**Patrick

Bago pa man kami makapasok sa venue eh nakita ko na ang isang lalaking naka-black na polo shirt. Nakasabay pa nga namin siya sa elevator eh. To my surprise, kay tasha rin pala itetch pupunta! Wow! Nasabi ko tuloy sa sarili ko, mukhang magiging maganda ang gabing ito! Hahaha!!! Tapos ayun, habang nag-pipicturan ang mga tao, palihim din namin siyang pinipicturan! Ganun talaga! Haha! May video pa nga eh! Well, nalaman lang namin ang kanyang name nung tumayo siya para sa 18 rose ni tasha. Well, he’s not that handsome but he’s the cutest and the hottest among them that night.

**4aver!

Ano pa bang ikukwento ko?!?! Ung usual na tawanan, kwentuhan, picturan, tsismisan (I mean, BALITAAN), at higit sa lahat TAWANAN! Siguro ang pinakakakaibang ginawa namin ay ung nilagay namin ung digicam sa gitna ng mesa tapos naka-record un!!! Imagine, habang kumakain kami at habang paikot-ikot ung gitna, naka-video lahat! Pati ung dami ng kinuha, makikita mo sa video! May problema nga lang…na-corrupt ung video… hahaha!!! Anyway, at least, may idea na kami for the next time!!

**james, rose, mara, jellah, ferdyn

Naku! Nag-isang round lang naman kami ng giyera patayan. Naglaro ng PING PONG PANG at Hep Hep Hooray!na nauwi sa kabaliktaran… ang Peh Peh Yarooh!!! Hahaha!!! As usual, pakana ni paolo ung kabaliktaran na yan. And as usual, halos mamatay kakatawa ang mga tao, lalo na si mara, sa larong naibento!

**rc, angel, john,anna,ferdyn,mara

Obvious ba?!?! Sayawan to the max! and in fairness, hindi pa rin talaga nagbabago si john at anna. Sila pa rin ang mga nangunguna at nagpapasaya sa dance floor!!! The best talaga! With matching effects pa mula sa lightings dun sa event. Super memorable!!!

**Erika

Siyempre, dahil birthday rin niya, binati rin namin siya. Nung kainan nga, kahit na hindi namin siya kasama sa table, napapansin pa rin namin na masaya siya sa birthday niya. At ang most shocking event, eh nung kumanta si eka!!! Grabe!! Lahat kami eh speechless. I mean, hindi naman pala-kanta si eka dati eh. Tapos ngayon, uma-avril na!!! kinanta niya ung I’m with you ni avril lavigne! Grabe, ang galling talaga!!! Siyempre, kasama niya ang kanyang bf na naggi-gitara naman para sa kanya. Another memorable performance!

**the debutant… TASHA

Wow! Ang ganda ni tasha!!! Kasing ganda niya ang suot niyang gown! At ang bongga pa ng entrance ah! Ang galing talaga! Alam mo ung perfect na talaga ung event eh. Perfect na sana ung buong gabi kaya lang… hindi maganda ung 18^th rose ni tasha. Hahaha!!! Pero promise, hanggang ngayon, hindi ako makapaniwala na sinira ko ung buong gabi! Hahaha!! Anyway, tummaas pa rin naman energy ng mga tao nung sumayaw si tasha! Grabe si tasha! 18 na talaga siya!!! Together with her cousin, Isha, and ate B (nakalimutan ko ung pangalan, sorry!), tumodo sa paghataw si tasha!!! Memorable na naman itetch!

**Outfits.

Siyempre, hindi lang si tasha ang humataw sa outfits. Siguro, para sa akin, bonnga ang outfits nilang lahat!! Aang pinakabongga ay walang iba kundi si mariel!!!promise!!!! ang ganda ni mariel! Imagine ah, hindi ako lalaki pero nagandahan ako! Ganun siya kaganda!!! Bonggacious!!!

**EMO

Siyempre, sa lahat ng okasyon, nagiging emo din naman ako. Ganito ung scene ah, lalabas ako nun sa CR pabalik na sa party. Paglabas ko, may nakita akong babaeng naka-upo. Well, kalahati lang nung likod niya ung nakikita ko dahil sa pader pero alam ko na siya un. Ganito angpumasok sa isip ko…”wow, ang ganda niya. Bagay sa kanya ung suot niya. Talagang ginugulat ako ng babaeng ito…” nandun na ako sa momentum ko eh! Ayun na oh! Tapos, may biglang lumabas na kamay!!! Lumabas dun sa bewang nung girl. Bale, parang nakayakap, then holding hands sa kabila. What I did is, I just looked up as soon as I can. Tapos un, tuluy-tuloy na lang ako sa pupuntahan ko. Kunwari na lang, wala akong nakita. Magaling naman akong magsinungaling eh! In fairness, naloko ko ang aking sarili!!! Talagang naniwala naman ako na wala nga akongnakita! Hahaha!!! OK. From the perspective of a stranger. Ano naman kung may nakita ako?? What’s the big deal?? It’s a normal thing, ryt?!?! OK. Ako naman. Oo na! mali na ako!! Sorry ah!!

**END of POST**

NEXT on TELL-ALL SERIES:

I had a dream two years ago. A very, very emo dream. Sa sobrang dramatic niya, pang-MMK na siya!! HAHAHA!! I’m gonna tell it all!

TELL-ALL SERIES: Realizations

2010-08-31T20:57:00.001+08:00

Many things happen or are happening in our life. Those things, actually, doesn’t matter. What matters are our realizations in every single happening in our lives. Things happen for a reason. We should discover that reason or else, they happen for nothing.

Just to close the topic that I have opened last week, I do NOT feel bitterness towards Pres. C just because of that incident. Actually, I am very thankful to them since they are all very nice to me. In UP, I usually see them and they are all nice. I swear! I wouldn’t focus on this topic anymore.

6:00PM (27 Aug 20010) – I started to study physics and chem. one after the other. It was not non-stop. After an hour, I would just stand and stretch-out and sometimes I eat snacks just to relax myself. While I am reviewing, I realized that I am not actually reviewing. I am studying! Since I usually cut my physics class, I miss most of the topics. [1^st realization] From now on, I will attend all my classes so that when there is an upcoming exam, it would be just fine.

7:00am (28 Aug) – start of physics exam. Wow! Imagine physics without calculations. Impossible right?!?! But honestly, I didn’t calculate anything. The whole test seems like a what’s-your-lucky-guess exam. Luckily, someone from my front gave me some answers. And I believe those were right answers. Hahaha!! [2^nd realization] sometimes, exams are just meant to measure your luck and not your knowledge. When most of the time, you really have to have knowledge!!

9:00am – I ate some snacks. A bottle of nestea and a pack of quaker oats cookies. I need to regain energy before anything else. Now, I am with Ollie (codename) and Jacob of twilight saga (codename). We are all in the ERG discussion room to review for the chemistry exam. After an hour, a witch came in. She’s a witch because she looks like one. She’s with her allies and they are kinda annoying. After an hour again, a group of book-eaters came in. Book-eaters are the one who look like a geek. They know all that is written in the book. They ate books. Whitten is their favorite baker. Again, they are louder than the witch. We’re so annoyed that we have decided to have our lunch already. [3^rd realization] the most nonsense of all, boys, generally, tends to eat relatively faster than girls.

[4^th realization] while reviewing for an exam, many things would come in front of you to distract you. You have to choose.

2:00pm – I am almost finished reviewing. Though I don’t know all the topics, I just focused myself on what I know and what can easily be understood. Ollie suddenly asked me if I have a fever. I said I don’t have even if I really have a fever. After that, I felt like I am melting. [5^th realization] Time and space can really make you move-on from your past. But the moment that you see each other again, you’ll gonna dance “Let’s bring it back”!!! hahaha!!!

4:00pm – Fact: it is hard to take an exam under time pressure -- especially when some fluids are flowing down from your nose. Urgh!

6:30 pm – I am now riding a jeepney. After the exam, I felt like my head is weightless. I think I lost all my neurons! Anyway, like in high school days, riding a jeepney at night with all that cool wind touching your face – that is the best way to relax! [6^th realization] I did make a mountain out of these exams. I mean, I worried too much about this day and because of that, I felt sick. Worrying is like making things worse.

Scores are just numbers. Even if I failed these exams, it would not make me any less of a human. But I still do hope for good scores.

Past is past. We can never change that. But we can change the way we look at them.

NEXT on TELL-ALL SERIES:

Lady Tasha’s 18^th birthday celebration. What happened from my vantage point?? Hmmm…

TELL-ALL SERIES:The Aftershock(s)

2010-08-23T18:37:00.002+08:00

Right after an earthquake, people would usually prepare for aftershocks. Why? These can usually be more destructive than the earthquake itself.

In life, aftershocks are commonly called “karma”. Good karma will occur after you’ve done something good while bad karma comes after you’ve done something bad. Also, these aftershocks come in waves. Like waves in the seashore, it will come back as long as your heart beats.

In case of Dee and me, the aftershocks worsen the whole thing. The ‘act’ itself is not a big deal. I mean, it happens a lot and it’s normal. But since it is ‘him’ and since it is ‘me’, things went differently. [For me] It is a big deal. Even though he said that it is not a big deal to him, I think he’s just lying to make me feel like that.

16 July 2009, right after the shocking revelation, I went to see Erich. Why? I need to pay for my load that time. Wrong timing, right? But since I will wait for her to arrive, I bought a can of san mig light. I just want to forget what happened before I see her. Well, NO EFFECT. While I was drinking outside south star drug, she arrived. “WHOA! Yan na ba ang nagagawa ng UP?!” she asked. No way! If only you knew… Many things ran in my mind. Yet, nothing came out of my mind. I just gave her a smile. I then paid her immediately and said goodbye to her. As she crossed the street, I watched her. I felt sorry for her. I felt guilty, not for him, but for her. When she was out of my sight, I started to walk away. It was raining then. Yet, I decided to walk until I reached JRU. Actually, I am thinking of nothing back then. I just realized that I am walking. It’s kinda far but since I’m not in my right mind, I reached jru. When I got home, I silently cried. Actually, tears just ran down without any sound. While crying, I felt asleep. Actually, I have now a vague memory of what happened next. Its like I became crazy just for a day. Well, the rest became history. I decided to avoid him and not to talk to him unless he asked something. Until now, I still do it.

Wave 1

As I walk down the stairs (AS), I saw him. I tried to walk as fast as I could but the persons before me are so slow and they trapped me. Unluckily, I have no other choice but to pretend that I do not saw him. But he saw me. He approached me. He put his arm around me. “oi! Kamusta ka na?!” what?? Are you crazy?? Short-term memory gap?? Duh?!?! I’m not ok! Why do you think I would be ok?!! Idiot! Manythings ran in my mind but “ok lang” is all I have said. As soon as the person in front of me took a different direction, I walk as fast as I could leaving him behind. I don’t know where he’d go or what was his reaction was since I never looked back.

Wave 2

This one occurred frequently. He was with me together with other 4avers in the math café. Wow! I always try my best not to make conversations with him. But he’s like nothing-happened-between-us man. He always ask me questions like trying to make conversations with me. Well, I refused. I gave him short answers like “ewan”, “ok”, or “hindi”. Then, I will talk to whom I am sitting next to.

I don’t want to leave the table even though I sometimes feel like to. Why? I don’t want him to be the reason for me not to enjoy the time I am with my friends. He’s not worth it. Totally not.

Wave 3

One day, I am so happy. I received the news that I passed my second exam. My physics prof is not around. My chem. lecture and lab are not having classes because of the fire. As I was waiting for jellah, I went to Engg Lib 2. As I passed through CS, someone called my name. Since I am so happy that day, I turned around with a smile in my face and my arms already ready to say hello. In my surprise, its him. My smile became a serious look. I immediately turned back from him. I then walked as fast as I could away from him while whispering all the bad words I know. I hate myself. That day, GOD is really REALLY fair. SOOOOOOOOOOOO FAIR.

Wave 4

Arlene’s debut. Cheska’s debut. Tasha’s debut. Allthe same. I tried to ignore him. I ignored him.

Wave 5

Erika’s surprise. He took a video message o f me for Erika. FUCK! I mean, he put his digicam right in his face!! I tried all my best not to look at the camera but I need to. As a result, my video message is a complete disaster! Well, what is worse is when we all rode the jeepney, he sat right beside me. Luckily, the jeepney never became full so I maintained a space between us. The whole ten-peso ride was the longest ride in my life. I remained silent the whole time. I was looking outside all the time. I never looked at him. But he asked me. I just answered “hindi eh” to shut him up. But he’s like urgh! He is talking to me! Luckily, I was with mara so she was the one talking to him. Another luck came. They took the other train. That was a relief. And then another luck came. We saw a cute guy. Haha! God is sooooo FAIR!

My life has not yet come to and end. It only means that aftershocks are not yet done. I just hope I would survive them all.

Again, these are all karma to me. It is not his fault. It is all mines. But after all, I have no regrets. Why? These taught me lessons. I learned them. And I would never learn them if I didn’t experienced all of these.

Life is a gamble. I should always open my mind and not just depend on my feelings for I can misinterpret things. I should think my every move. There’s no turning back. I should win this even though I lost in that part. Tuloy lang ang buhay. Hindi dapat ako magpa-iwan.

NEXT on TELL-ALL SERIES:

The whole story is told. This topic is more than OVER. Now, what about President C?? Join ba sila sa bitterness ni melo?? I don’t think so…

TELL-ALL SERIES: Revelations

2010-08-16T21:05:00.001+08:00

What’s beneath the silence is usually the hardest part of the equation. What happened between the two of us [Dee and I], I think it’s for the better if it would just remain between the two of us. Though I shared this to several of my friends while he also shared this to his, it’d be better if I would not make a big fuss about it here on my blog. If you really want to know, ask him. :D or me [kung mapipilit niyo ako! Haha!]

[An Uninteresting Trivia: nangyari ang mga ito noong 16 July 2009 pa.]

Prologue

First, all that is written here is, obviously, my opinion from MY point of view. If there are some differences from what you had heard, it only means that my understanding about that situation is different from his. I also just want you to know beforehand that I do not intend to make him look like the bad guy here. Actually, it is me who is the bad guy, well girl actually, in the story. I caused the fire!

I try to chase the memories away

But they haunt me everyday

I hope I get over this phase

‘Cause I’m stuck inside this haze

All I need is a simple lift

Such a sweet and precious gift

So I don’t lose it all before

What I have left is nothing more

First of all, bitter ako sa kanya. Why? It is not because I didn’t get what I want [duh? I’m not a kid!], but its because may mga sinabi siya na nung araw lang na iyon ko narinig. EVER! That day, I am so down. That day, I learned the depth of “discrimination”. Siguro hindi ako prepared sa ganun kaya mas lumala pa ang dating sa akin ng mga nangyari. A “NO!” is definitely and honestly more acceptable for me. I mean, I also heard that from another guy so it is not a big deal for me. But he continued the sentence…”…kasi ganyan ka…”. Wait, wait, WAIT!!! What does that mean?! That’s the moment my anger started! with a full blast! For me, that IS discrimination! And what’s worse is that my (ex-)FRIEND is discriminating me!

I can’t forget the things you said

Your words keep running through my head

And I know you’re just trying to help me out

Thanks, but I’ll follow my heart instead

Because of my confused gender, I did experienced lots of incidents of discrimination. But to be honest with you, THIS is the one where I told myself “wow! Ito pala yung iniiyakan nila! Grabe, ang hirap pala talaga!” THIS one is the single incident that I cried liters of water (just because I felt discriminated. Also, this is the moment where I thought of ‘suicide’ with a pretty-ugly reason.

I am totally not sorry to him for what I did. I mean, I did not force him. I asked him. It doesn’t violate any thing, I think. But rather, I apologize from the deepest of my heart to all my friends especially to Erich. I am so sorry for not considering your feelings before I acted. To my friends, I am so sorry for making it even harder for you. I mean, you are all exerting lots of effort just to understand what I did. Sorry guys…

Positive Points

Everything that hurt you that doesn’t kill you, make you stronger. I am now stronger [I believe…]. Now, I do think twice before I act. My mind is now open to the real “reality”. Also, the most important thing, I am now definitely more prepared to face the future.

Epilogue

What would I do? Nothing. What should he do? Nothing. I mean, a dead bird is DEAD. No one can bring it to life again. Also, in this world, that bird can never fly again [malamang! Patay na diba?!].

Who cares if you disagree?

You were not me

Who made you king of anything

Kill the dramatic mode!!!! HAHAHA!!! Grabe! Ang emo! Kahit ako, naloka! Fun time muna! May ginawa kasi ako na nakakatawa eh!! Ganito un, tinext ko siya last year… balak ko kasi magparinig sa kanya eh. Sabi ko sa text, “…first SCAR is the deepest …”!!! Tapos, kinabukasan, nung tinanong ko si mother about sa kantang un, sabi niya, “first CUT is the deepest” ung tamang lyrics!! Umikot ang ulo ko eh!! Naloka naman ako sa ginawa ko! Lesson learned: mag-research muna bago magparinig para hindi mapahiya! Hahaha!!!

Another kaloka thing, ung mga linyang “MOVE ON na, please!” binging-bingi na ako jan, ok?! I swear! Kahit kasi ung mga sign na hiningi ko kay Bro, ganyan din ang sinasabi!! Lurkey na lurkey na me!! Honestly, ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi talaga ako maka-move on… baka totoo talaga un “first SCAR is the deepest! I mean “CUT” pala! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

NEXT on TELL-ALL SERIES:

It’s now cleared: melo IS bitter at Dee. What happened next??

TELL-ALL SERIES: Facing the Future

2010-08-02T07:57:00.000+08:00

This part of the series was inspired by my professor in chem17. Gender as he had said, is not just black and white. There are gray parts. And also, there are many shades of gray! That’s how fluid gender is.

My SEX, which is male, does not and shall not dictate me. I shall not love a woman JUST BECAUSE I am male. I shall not only have crushes towards girls JUST BECAUSE of my sex. Also, I shall not marry a woman and live the rest of my life with her JUST BECAUSE I am male. My sex shall not interfere with the ways I should live my life. But it doesn’t mean that I will never love or marry a woman. I just don’t want my sex [male] to become the reason why I married/loved a woman. Gets?

On the other hand, GENDER is also not a choice. Who would want to become gay?? Considering the fact that gays have vague futures?? For me, gender is just a term to describe you and what you want. I mean, “if you’re sex is male and you like males, you’re gay”. It is not “you are gay, so you are a male who likes male”… I hope you’d get my point…gender does not dictate your future but rather, your future dictates your gender…

What exactly am I?

I don’t really know. My form 5 didn’t ask questions like “what exact shade of gray are you?”!! hahaha! Well, if you are puzzled with my answer, I am more puzzled with myself. The fact that this is myself and that I don’t know myself, it is so hard. Yet, it’s happy! I mean, the bitter your problems are, the sweeter your successes will be! Right?!

No I won’t make up my mind

I’m too good at wastin’ time

And I know that life is unpredictable

Just never know what I will find

May possibility ba na magbago??

Oo naman. Gender is fluid. Who knows?!

Will you tell your parents??

No. and, I think the first question should be, “should I tell my parents??” and that is also a no! hindi ko kailangan ipaalam sa kanila ang gender ko!! Eh paano paghindi nila ako pinayagan, ganun ganun na lang ba yun?! kalurkey ah!

Do you think it’s a sin??

Well, I think no…I mean, as long as wala akong tinatapakang ibang tao… I believe that HE would definitely not create someone na ikasusuklam lang din naman Niya… well, again, this is just my opinion… plus,sa tingin ko naman, mas nagiging close nga ako sa Kanya kasi ganito ako…

Is it hard?

Yes. Kasi kadalasan, kahit ako mismo sa sarili ko eh hindi sigurado sa kung ano ba talaga ako, tapos, may mga tao jan na napaka-kapal ng mukha para sabihing “ah bakla ka!” Nakakairita kasi parang, sino kayo para mas makilalla ako, di ba?? Gets? In short, ung mga taong masyadong judgmental at laging nagge-generalize ng mga tao which is hindi naman talaga.I mean, we are all different from each other, so bakit mo ako itutulad sa iba?! Di ba??

What do you hate the most??

I hate those people who discriminate us. May mga tao kasing galit sa third gender kahit wala namang dahilan! Kaloka noh?! Ok lang magalit kung may reasonable na dahilan eh… example, inagaw ko ung boyfriend mo, aun, go! Magalit ka sa akin! Pero kung wala naman akong ginagawa, tapos magagalit ka nang dahil lang sa bakla ako, GOOD LUCK!!! Another thing, naiintindihan ko na may mga taong parang homo-phobic… ung takot talaga by nature…well, ibang scenario naman sila kasi kadalasan, tahimik sila eh…kahit na homo-phobic sila, hindi nila kami binabastos.

On the other part, xempre, hindi ko rin naman dini-discriminate ung ibang genders. Although aminado ako na madali ito since mga straight girl or straight guy ang mga kaibigan ko, di ba?! But, to be honest, hindi pa rin ako sanay makihalubilo sa mga ‘tibo’, I do try my very best para naman hindi ko sila ma-offend.

Whooh! Kaloka ang series na ito!!! I can’t imagine na ib-blog ko ang mga ganiito… anyway, aun, thank you sa lahat ng friends ko dahil tanggap niyo ako. Swear! Hindi niyo siguro alam kung gaano ako ka-thankful at nakilala ko kayo!! Nang dahil sa inyo, mas tumapang ako. Mas kaya ko na ngayon humarap sa ibang tao bilang ako. Thank you all guys!!! Thank you so much.

And when you’re standing here in front of me

That’s when I know that God does exist

Cuz he will have answered every single prayer

To be with [all of] you

Just to be with [all of] you

NEXT on TELL-ALL SERIES!

The gender issue is now over and cleared. Let’s talk about love! Who is she that makes Melo “confused”?? Is Melo in love with a girl now??

TELL-ALL SERIES: History

2010-07-27T19:38:00.004+08:00

In SocSci3, we differentiated gender from sex. But, five years ago, I can already feel that there is really something different in me. I can say that it all started when I entered HS. At that time, I was only confused between my two crushes: Janelle (80%) and Oliver (20%). Well, the numbers can already tell that I am mostly male at that time. Second year came. I have another set of crushes: Erika (40%) and Aldrin (60%). The numbers became relatively closer. If you can recall, Erika and Aldrin became lovers at that time, right? Well, I was jealous back then but until now, I don’t know whom I am jealous to. Both, I think! That was a funny-serious situation!

Third year came. As usual, another set of crushes. This time, its Erika (50%) and Oliver (50%). Whoa! We have a tie!!!! Hahaha!! The week before the shooting of the music video of “Everytime I close my Eyes,” was the most confusing week ever [regarding my gender…]. If you can also remember, Oliver and Erika were paired in the music video. ON the day of the shooting itself, I am SOOOO confused! Erika was so elegant and charming while Oliver is so hot and too cute. And they are both so adorable! Erika is so “wow!” in her red dress while Oliver is also so “wow!” in his shirts!!! But, at the end of the year, I felt something towards Oliver. I don’t know if its love though, I considered him as my first love.

Summer vacation came. The turning point in my life. We all know “what I did last summer” is all about.

First year came and Oliver is still my “first love”. That time, I was so obsessed and possessive. The whole 4aver [the whole mandsci actually] were the witness to this. I even ruined my friendship with mara because of him [luckily, I am now in good terms with mara]. Until now, I kept things that reminds me of Oliver. They are:

· Chocolate and giftwrapper [ito ung nagpa-games si mam Somoza tapos kami ni oli ung magkalaban. Nanalo ako kaya napunta sa akin ung prize!!!]
· Tag ng sako na may nakalagay na “oliver” [hiningi ko ito kay mam Tirones nung nagbabalik na tayo ng mga libro…]
· 25-cent coin [ito ung natirang sukli nung bumili ako ng regalo ko para kay oli…]
· Plastic ng bluesoda [nung groupwork sa physics, kagrupo ko siya. Pinagdala namin siya ng yoyo. Ito ung plastic na pinaglagyan niya nung yoyo. ]
· Ung mga pirma ni oli mula sa lahat ng STLT that time
· Baby picture ni oli [pinamana sa akin ito ni anna! Hahaha!!]
· Gift ni annlou nung Christmas party
· Letter sa akin ni oli nung Christmas
· Many more…

College came. I am now over with him. Though I can’t deny the fact that oliver has taken with him a space in my heart. And that is a fact that I need to carry forever. Now, my love life can be defined as “somewhere near nowhere!” hahaha!!! Now, my all-time crush is Ardie. Leonard benedict salientes alba. To my surprise, he is the older brother of Alba from mandsci [which is john’s crush…]. He was my classmate in Chem 16 and physics 71.1. He is so cute, fragile, gentle, and looks like justin bieber. And for the record, I met Ardie FIRST before I know justin bieber!! Now, I can say that I am so desperate to have a boyfriend. Why? Because I need someone who can inspire me to do what I can really do. Someone who could bring out the best in me. My weakness is boys. I just want to transform my weakness into a strength…

You want somebody,

just anybody to lay their hands on your soul tonight

You want a reason to keep believin’ that someday you’re

gonna see the light

Cause you’re desperate, oh

Cause you’re desperate tonight

NEXT on TELL-ALL SERIES!

The story of my past is now revealed. What about the future? What are my opinions about the issues I’m now facing?

Tell-All Series: Introduction

2010-07-19T03:35:00.001+08:00

what is this all about?
this is all about me, of course! haha! here, i'm gonna TELL you most of the secrets, ideas, and facts about me...

mejo bored na kasi ako sa buhay ko ngayon...academics na lang lagi...i need some break...plus, mejo tahimik na ang mundo ko, kaya gusto kong guluhin! hahaha!! this blog is open for anyone, BUT hindi ko na siya ipagkakalat ngayon dun sa mga taong 'involved' sa mga susunod kong ipo-post...sana, ganun din kayo... wag niyo na sabihin sa kanila... hayaan niyo na lang kung mabasa man nila or what...

aun, enjoy!!

as of now, nasulat ko na ung draft for the first 3 parts nung series... mejo TRAPPED din ako sa 4th part... hndi ko alam kung dapat ko bang ipost or what...so far, dapat niyong abangan ung third installment nitong series na ito! promise! nakakaloka siya!

ENJOY!!

Hottest Summer Collection Ever!

2010-04-22T14:57:00.005+08:00

Hello guys! Finally, I'm back! na-miss niyo ako noh?! hahaha!! char! Anyway, since mahalaga ang pagbabalik kong ito, magpopost ako ng something na mahalaga din sa puso ko... tarush!! haha!! And it is all about yaoi!!! well this time, yaoi movies naman ang trip ko... kaya nga namamatay na ako sa kilig dito sa bahay ko! If you like, pwede niyo rin naman sila panuorin... Hndi ko naman kayo pinipilit eh. kung gusto niyo lang naman...hahaha!!!

Warning! Warning! Warning!

This page has contents that may be not suitable for very young minds. hahaha!!!

Since nakaabot ka hanggang dito, thank you so much!!! Dito na nagsisimula ang ating countdown!!! hahaha!! Hndi na ako maglalagay ng synopsis or summary. baka kasi maging spoiler ako eh... btw, maglalagay na lang ako ng maiiksing notes

MY SUMMER COLLECTION!!!

10. Sukitomo (Japan, 2007)

Running Time: 67 minutes
Cast: Tomokazu (Takumi Saito)
Yoshiki (Aiba Hiroki)
Review: This is an amazing movie for thefans of Takumi Saito. Super layo kasi ng ibang mga naging role niya sa past movies niya before nito. Uhmm, walang explicit scenes dito. Hndi ko rin naman masasabing love story ang movie na ito since more on one-sided love siya.

9. Kindan no Koi (Japan, 2008)

Running Time: 71 minutes
Cast: Mikami Masashi
Kato Ryosuke
Review: well, mejo boring ang simula hanggang gitna ng movie na ito. Pero what makes it better sa Sukitomo ay ang very striking na ending! very remarkable! as in sobrang mapapaisip ka!

8. Antique (Korea, 2008)

Running Time: 112 minutes
Cast:   Kim Jin Hyeok (Ji Hoon)
   Min Seon Woo (Jae Wook)
   Yang Ki Beom (Yo Ah In)
   Nam Soo Yeong (Choi Ji Ho)
Review: Mas maganda ung story niya. mejo powerhouse ang cast dahil kina Ji Hoon at Jae Wook. Astig ung ending!! Nakakaloka ang kaharutan ng cast! although isa lang ang explicit scene, super duper mild pa! ang ganda ng chemistry nung 2 bida!! nakakakilig!

7. Eternal Summer (Taiwan, 2006)

Running Time: 95 minutes
Cast: Jonathan Kang (Bryant Chang)

Shane Yu (Joseph Chang)
Carrie (Kate Yeung)
Review: Maganda pa rin siya kahit na top 7 lang! Unique ang ending! Nakakaiyak! Maganda ung story at plot!! maganda ang casting! Napanindigan naman nung mga actors ung hinihingi sa kanilang mga expression. In-character talaga sila lahat. may chemistry pa sila! Anyway, may explicit scene! As in!! Pero un ung naging dahilan kung bakit mas naging super Ouch! ung ending...Sad story...BTW, maganda rin ung naging role nung girl.

6. Boys Love 2 (Japan, 2007)

Running Time: [around 90 minutes]
Cast:   Kairu Aoi (Yoshikazu Kotani)
   Sora Amakami(Atsumi Kanno)
   Ichiyou Mizuki (Yuuki Kawakubo)
   Riku Hanazono (Kazunori Tani)
Review: This has nothing to do with boys love 1. Although pareho ang director at producer, naretain din ang isang main star na si Kotani. BUT! magkaiba ung story nila... anyway, magandi rin naman ung story nito. kinda predictable ung mga mangyayari pero maganda pa rin naman ung mga twist. i can say na magaling talagang actor si Kotani. wala namang explicit scene [aside sa naliligo ung mga estudyante, so malamang, nakahubad talaga!] For me, ang sweet nung ending. Nakakatuwang pangarapin na sana ganun din ang mangyari sa inyong lola! char! hahaha!!

5. Takumi-kun Series: Rainbow-Colored Glass (Japan, 2009)

Running Time: 74 minutes
Cast: Takumi Hayama (Kyousuke Hamao)

Saki Giichi "Gii" (Daisuke Watanabe)

Syouzo Akaike (Yukihiro Takiguchi)

Suzuki Takeshi (Yuta Takahashi)

Izumi Takabayashi (Kei Hosogai)

Morita Tooru (Yuki Hiyori)

Review: This is the continuation of Takumi-kun series 1. Although the cast are almost totally different, the story really improve a lot. Bias ako dito, ok?! Mas gusto ko kasi ung casting nung una eh... Anyway, this is a sad love story. dramatic ang ending! Although, nandito naman ung hinahanap ko sa una, ung explicit scene!! may love scene dito ung 2 bida! nakakatuwa! hahahaha!! btw, maganda pa rin naman ung mga cast kasi bagay sa kanila ung mga role nila at nabigyan naman nila ng justice ung pinoportray nila.

4. Takumi-kun Series: And the Spring Breeze Whispers (Japan, 2007)

Running Time: 74 minutes
Cast:   Takumi Hayama (Tomo Yanagishita)
   Saki Giichi "Gii" (Keisuke Kato)
   Izumi Takabayashi (Yasuka Saito)
   Syouzo Akaike (Yukihiro Takiguchi)
   Daisuke Nozaki (Tetsuya Makita)
   Michio Yoshizawa (Wataru Hatano)
   Toshihisa Katakura (Ryo Sakaguchi)
   Sachi Inoue (Hiroki Aiba)
Review: So, ito na ung una sa series na ito...Unang-una, napakaganda ng casting! As in powerhouse ang mga cast nito!! Karamihan sa mga cast ay batikan na sa paggawa ng yaoi movies kaya mas nabigyan ng justice ang kani-kanilang mga role!!! nakakakilig ung story! ang ganda rin ng cinematography sa simula ng film. nakaka-inngit ung love story nila. nakaka-touch!! But most of all, ang hot ng mga actors!!! at ang cute ng bidang si Takumi!!!ang fragile at innocent ng itsura niya!!! One of the best movies!

3. Boys Love (Japan, 2006

Running Time: 90 minutes
Cast: Taishin Mamiya (Yoshikazu Kotani)

Noeru Kisaragi (Takumi Saito)

Chidori Furumura (Hiroya Matsumoto)

Review: Sabi dun sa youtube, hndi daw ito tragic. pero honestly, tragic ito frend!!! As in nakaka-shock ang ending!!! Talagang mapapaisip ka kung ano nga ba talaga ang nangyari! Isa rin sa gusto ko sa movie na ito ay ung mga bida. bagaysa kanila ang role, may chemistry sila, at proffessional pa! Nakakatuwa din ung mga quotations sa movie na ito all through-out ng film!!! as in bagay-na bagay dun sa mga scenarios at sa story mismo. Another great movie to watch!

2. Ai no Kotodama (Japan. 2008)

Running Time: 74 minutes
Cast: Ootani Shinya (Hidenori Tokuyama)
Tachibana Miyako (Yasuka Saito)
Review: Simula pa lang nitong movie na ito, kinikilig na ako!! As in uber sa ka-sweetan ang 2 actors na itetch!!! Kahit na isang manga adaptation ang movie na ito, casting pa lang, feeling ko, talbogna nito ung manga!! Nakakaloka ang kanilang love scene!!Hndi naman explicit pero makikita mo talaga ung LOVE between the characters!!! Nakakatuwang isipin na sana may mga ganitong nangyayari sa totoong buhay... at kung ganun lang din naman, sana magkaroon ako ng TOTOONG BUHAY!!!Hahahahaha!!!

1. The Love of Siam (Thailand, 2007)

Running Time: 150 minutes (178 minutes, uncut)
Cast: Mew (Witwisit Hiranyawongkul)
Tong (Mario Maurer)
Review: Maganda ang casting. Super sa chemistry ang dalawang actors! Ang galing pa nila umacting considering na unang film ito ni Witwisit!!! Tapos yaoi pa di ba>> Ang ganda ng story! Hindi nalalayo sa reality!! Nakakaiyak ung ibang scenes!! As in madadala ka ng mga actors sa kung ano ba talaga ung nararamdaman ng mga characers!!! At higit sa lahat, ang ganda nung music sa film na itetch!!! parang original composition eh! nakakaiyak talaga!!! Ito lang ang movie na nakapagpaiyak sa akin!! Swear!! Trivia lang, di ba hndi halata sa cover na yaoi itong movie na ito?! kahit panuorin niyo ung trailer, hndi niyo rin makikita ang pagiging yaoi ng film na ito!!! AT un ang pinakamalaking issue ng movie na ito nung nirelease siya sa Thai...

That's it!! Yun na po ang aking SUMMER COLLECTION!!!! OMG! kasing HOT ng summer ang Hotness ng mga movie na ito!!! btw, feel free to leave a comment!!

Thanks for reading! BYUE!!!!

nagco-commute din ang puso...

2009-12-06T14:25:00.002+08:00

Sa araw-araw kong pagsakay sa kung anu-anong public vehicle, masasabi kong haggardness ang ganito. Minsan nakaka-jabarr. Minsan naman, kapag minamalas ka, may makakatabi kang may mabahong pabango na parang inilagay yata sa pawis o kaya nama'y sa bibig. Ngunit ito ang hindi natin napapansin, na minsan ay kasabay natin ang ating puso sa pagco-commute. may bf/gf ka man o wala, kasabay talaga natin ito. pero since wala naman akong lovelife, dun na lang tayo sa mga tulad ko.

Noong high school, tricycle ang lagi kong sinasakyan. dalawa lang ang kalagayan ko diyan, either siksikan dahil kasama ang mga kaibigan o kaya nama'y mag-isa. Yung tipong kahit ilagay mo ang bag mo sa tabi mo, maluwag pa rin. may 'space na hindi kayang punan ng kahit ano o sino. Tanging ung someone lang na yun; na sana'y katabi mo.

Sumunod ang jeep. Simula noon hanggang ngayon, sinasakyan ko pa rin ito. Dalawa lang din ang sitwasyong maaabutan mo dito. Una, ung masikip at napaka-init. Dito, mas maganda rin kung kasama mo ung someone mo. Yung tipong iuusog niya lahat ng katabi niya para may maupuan ka. Tapos, papaypayan ka o kaya nama'y pupunasan ang pawis mo. Kung wala naman siyang pamaypay o panyo, pasasayahin ka na lang niya sa mga kwento at biro niya. For sure, mawawala ang bad trip mo at makakalimutan mong naiinitan ka.

Yung ikalawa naman, ung mahangin [at malamig] at maluwag na minsan panga'y halos walang tao. Dito, kailangan mo ng yakap nung someone mo. Yung tipong mararamdaman mo ung bawat paghinga at tibok ng puso niya habang nakadikit ang likod mo sa mga dibdib niya. Tapos, kahit na mahirap dumilat o magsalita dahil sa mahangin nga, magtitinginan at mag-uusap pa rin kayo. kahit na maluwag sa jeep, andun kayo sa dulo at magkadikit.

MRT/LRT or whatsoever! basta tren! Dito, kailangan mo rin ung someone na un. Siya ung makikipagtulakan para sa yo. Ung gagawin niyang barrier ang likod at kamay niya para hindi ka maipit sa sobrang dami ng tao. Kahit na nasasaktan at nangangalay na siya, ngingitian ka pa rin niya. ikaw naman, magpapa-cute din sa kanya in return. Siya rin ang aalalay sau kapag na-out of balance ka. ung tipong matutumba ka sa kanya sabay magtitinginan kayo at magpapalitan ng ngiti. sabi nga nila, yung parang mahuhulog na yung panty mo sa sobrang kilig!

Sa bus, karamihan sa mga upuan ay pangdalawahan. malamang, katabi mo dapat dito ung someone na un. sa pagsakay niyo pa lang, aalalayan ka niya para hindi ka matumba. habang naka-upo, sabay ninyong pagtatawanan ang mga nakikita niyo sa paligid. well, magmumukha ka nga naman kasing tanga kung mag-isa ka lang na tumatawa di ba?! kung malapit lang ang pupuntahan niyo, holding hands kayo sa buong biyahe. kung malayo naman, isasandal mo ang ulo mo sa balikat niya. siya naman, ididikit ang ulo niya sa ulo mo. tapos nun, bubulungan ka niya ng "i love you.." at ikaw naman ay mapapangiti. hindi ka na sasagot at magpapanggap na lang na tulog na. pero sa loob mo, gusto mo nang mag-cartwheel sa buong EDSA dahil sa kilig.

Nakakakilig talaga kapag kasama mo ang puso mo sa pagco-commute. Parang nasa iyo na ang lahat ng pangarap mo. yung tipong wala ka nang hihilingin pa kundi ang makasama siya. Para ka nang nasa heaven. ung ganung feeling.

pero, what if kung wala pa si 'someone'?? wait, may someone nga ba talaga ako? Ano naman kaya ang pakiramdam ng walang someone ever?? Ito na ba ung mga nagiging emo na thudercats? huwag naman sana... Bro, hindi naman siguro ako magiging ganun di ba?! makikilala ko rin naman siya [or nakilala ko na] di ba?! Anyhow, ang alam ko, nasa puso ko ung someone na un. In love ata ako noh! mawala na siya sa tabi ko, pero never ever sa puso ko. kaya after all, heaven din ang pakiramdam magcommute kasama ang puso.

jeepney/mrt contemplations

2009-11-16T10:31:00.000+08:00

Past is past and we can never change that. Though, we can just change the way we look at them.

A. Melosantos

Whew! first week of classes is over and I am so tired! This had been a long week. Anyway, napakarami ko pa ring naiisip kapag nakasakay ako sa mrt and/or jeep. Isa na doon ang ilang mga bagay na tungkol sa akin [malamang!].

as in ganito pala talaga ako. 50-50.na-realize ko na nain-love pala talaga ako sa isang gurl.Shocking right? pati nga ako kinilabutan eh [in a positive way ah...] i mean, kinilabutan ako na may ganun palang nangyari sa akin. She is lovable naman kaya mejo hindi imposibleng main-luv ako sa taong un. ewan!!! i'm still confused. really really confused!

Another thing, naranasan ko na rin palangsa kanya... ganito kasi un, nanood kami ng movie. horror movie actually. marami kami kaya mahihirapan kayo hulaan ito. napatabi siya sa akin and parang ako, imbis na matakot sa movie, natetempt ako sa kanya!!! parang gusto ko siya yakapin forever and ever amen!! parang ganun ung drama ko nung araw na un. and lately, narealize ko na sign na pala un na in-luv ako sa kanya...

well, her identity will be reamained concealed. on the other hand, may another 50% pa rin naman ako na naghahanap ng yakap ng isang guy... biglang ganun eh noh?!?! hahaha!!!

lastly, my apologies for those who can't and who don't want to understand bisexuality. I'm sorry guys. peace!

comments are demanded by me. kindly let me know what's running on your minds right now.

emo mode... LOL!!!

2009-09-20T17:02:00.002+08:00

Well, I just want to share this poem [if you can consider this as one]. Obviously, I wrote it last last month… I just found it in my things and read it and I am so surprised!!! I am so EMO that day!!! WTF!!! So, just read it and then, let’s all laugh!!! I swear, you will be surprised [just like me] to see me again with that kind of emotions!!!

P.S., the YOU in the title do not necessarily pertain to what you think… It is pertaining to just a person [I think so].

here it comes!!!

Fools, Unknowns, Cheaters, Killers, and YOU!
(2009 July 16)

Fooled myself, almost die
I barely knew who me is
Unknown things I have done
Making suicide just so fun

Freedom is just a fantasy
There is no such thing, can you see?
Yesterday, choosing what road to take
But now, before me, a road must take

Being bisexual is not what you think
It’s playing games you can never win
You smile at me whenever I’m there
But deep inside wishing I do not exist

Hemlock is what I must drink
So can have a deep sound sleep
But if all of this is just a dream,
At least, I can now wake up to what reality is

months after graduation

2009-09-06T10:19:00.000+08:00

Months after graduation, I can still remember all things that I need to. I admit, my memory bank is just a poor one so some things are starting to fade. That’s the reason why I always want to be with 4aver for to constantly refresh my memory.

Months after graduation, I can now say “baby, I’m still in love with you” and even sing it. Things change and I think there is no exception aside from God. My feelings for this person, of course, have changed. It became more intense, I think. Intense in a sense that I am always looking forward to see him, to greet him ‘hi’, to talk to him, anything! I think it’s because I miss him always. He is not as close as my friends are to me and honestly, it is actually my fault. Moving on, I hope I can really move on now!

Months after graduation, I really miss my friends specially Joyce. Honestly, it so hard to enter UP as a freshie when you don’t when you don’t have a company, probably anyone from 4aver, most of the time. Yes, I can saw them many times but selfishly, I want a companion! When I planned my college life last April or March (that time, I don’t have any idea of Joyce going to Australia), Joyce do have a great part in it. We have the same course, the same level of thinking, and of course, she can help me not to get blind by my emotions. It is so hard to enter UP unprepared. Now, I just realized that I must not just depend on her. I have to move on. But that doesn’t mean I must forget her! I will never do that!

Months after graduation, I can really tell “truth hurts”. Last July, I am aware that my immediate family wants me to become somebody else. Last August, all of my extended family also wants me to become somebody else. Well, I am prepared for that since the beginning so it does not hit me so hard. What really hits me (or should I say, the one that convinces me to cry) was the fact that one of my friends from my treasured 4aver, do not accept who am I. Honestly, it’s hard. All these years, I always tell myself “it’s okay; you’re friends (4aver and others) know and accept who you are.” 4aver became my comfort zone since November 27. It is so hard to accept that my comfort zone has gotten smaller. I hope it will not again. Well, who knows?

Last Thursday, on my Philosophy class, I cried. My classmates and my professor started to question me why by looking directly to me. I speak no word to them. I cried because I can relate (but not that totally) to what Layton shared to us. He explains why he became effeminate and he wants us to accept who he is as his friends do. I can relate to him because I also do hope that same thing. I want my family to accept me as my friends (especially 4aver) accept me. But I cried because of the fact that I need to rephrase that and instead, “I want my family to accept me as my friends (especially 4aver less one) accept me.” I lose a lot when I say “4aver less one”. I also lose my confidence to stand as me. Each A’er has a part in me. I lose one; I also lose a part of me. Being incomplete, just months after graduation was definitely hard.

(Sorry for my dramatic comeback. No offense was intended.)

serious post...

2009-06-07T08:58:00.002+08:00

"when past resurfaces, it haunts the present."

Naranasan nio na bang kilabutan, hindi dahil sa multo or sa kung anumang engkanto, pero dahil sa mga nangyari sa past mo especially ung mga ginawa mo noon? well, honestly, ako oo...

nai-share ko na ito sa mga kasama ko last june5, pero hindi ko pa rin nasabi lahat...

Everytime na maalala ko ung word na 4aver (obviously, madalas un), natatakot ako. Hindi dahil magkakalayo na tayo, kundi dahil bumabalik ung isip ko sa past. Lagi kong nai-imagine na naka-upo na naman ako sa gitna ng room, pero this time, may gusto na akong gawin. Pero hindi ko un magawa kasi lahat ng nangyari sa past, un pa rin ung nangyayari...

I may look strong, pero alam nio din naman na super hina ko inside. And siguro, dun ako tinitira ng past ko... Xet kaya un?! bigla kang malulungkot dahil naalala mo ung mga nangyari dati!

haii... too much drama! haha!

end of post+++

Liar Game

2009-06-07T08:50:00.002+08:00

pagkatapos ko basahin ang liar game (though, hndi pa rin naman talaga tapos ung story nia), nakakatuwa isipin ung bidang babae... hindi dahil crush ko xa or watsoever, pero ung paniniwala nia na...

"you can always trust people"

weird noh? pero, that is almost true for me...

Remember ung mga letters natin na ibinigay sa isa't isa before graduation? un! para sa akin, naniniwala ako sa mga nakasulat dun. i mean, kahit na hindi ko ka-close ung nagsulat, nagtitiwla pa rin ako na hindi talaga nia ako makakalimutan. I hope, kung ano man ung sinulat ko sa inyo, paniwalaan nio din. haha! korni ko talaga noh?!

uhmm, paiksian eh noh?! that's all, thank you!

Change your mind - boyce avenue

2009-05-07T01:15:00.001+08:00

There you are with your perfect way
You've got that little shine in your eyes
To hear one word would make my day
But there's no room for me in your life

Oh you've got me down on my knees
Oh and in my mind I can see
How perfect everything could be
But you won't give us a try

If I could change your mind
How would you want me
Would you say you need me
Cause I need you now

I try to move on but your perfect way
Has got this little child asking why
But this world keeps spinning
As my heart stops beating
Is there still no room inside

Oh you've got me down on my knees
Oh and in my mind I can see
How perfect everything could be
But you won't give us a try

If I could change your mind
How would you want me
Would you say you need me
Cause I need you now

If I could change your mind
(Please tell me I'm not the only one)
(Please help me believe I'm not the only one)
If I could change your mind

If I could change your mind
How would you want me
Would you say you need me
Cause I need you now

If I could change your mind
How would you hold me
Would you stay forever
Or just leave me here to drown

If I could change your mind
(Change your mind)
If I could change your mind
(Change your mind)

Possibility...

2009-05-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

katatapos ko lang basahin ung the notebook ni nicholas sparks. record ito dahil halos 2 araw ko lang siya binasa.

" it's the possibility that keeps me goin', not the guarantee."

Isang line mula sa book na iyong. isang line na bukod tangi sa lahat. isang line na tumatak sa isip ko. Chaka noh? haha.

Bakit nga pala namin ginalingan nung christmas concert? E alam naman namin na mahigpit ang laban. Na mahigpit ang kompetisyon. Pero ginawa namin lahat, kasi may chance kami. May chance kaming manalo. yup! hindi un sigurado, pero may possibility.

Bakit naman kami nago-open forum? Ilang beses na un ginawa, pero walang nangyari. Ilang beses rin na away lang ang kinahihinatnan ng mga open forum na yan. Pero hindi pa rin sumuko. May possibility pa rin eh. And finally, nabuo ang happiest, craziest and most of all, the most united section ever! Nabuo na rin ang 4AVER! Hindi rin naman sila sigurado na ganun nga ang kalalabasan ng open forum na un eh, pero may possibility.

Bakit naman hindi sumuko ang 4aver sa kabila ng mga dumating na problema. E napakalabo na nung maayos eh. Galit na sa amin lahat. Pero nanindigan pa rin kami. Naniwala pa rin kami sa isa't isa. So, aun, luckily, naayos din lahat. Hindi rin naman kami sigurado na maaayos din ang lahat eh, pero ginawa namin ang lahat kasi may possibility.

And now, summer vacation na. Magkakahiwalay na kami halos. nagpaplano ang iba para magkita-kita ulit ang buong section. Pero konti lang ang pumupunta. And since kasama ako sa mga nagpaplano, go! pa rin... may chance pa rin na pumunta yung mga yan, kaya tuloy pa rin kami sa pagpaplano, may possibility eh!

maghihintay pa rin ako...

2009-04-28T00:39:00.000+08:00

naranasan mo na bang maghintay ng bonggang-bongga? tapos sa huli, e madidismaya ka lang pala? hayaan mong ilahad ko ang aking sariling karanasang tulad ng mga nasa katanungan ko.

well, gabi noon. Hinihintay ko ang pagppalit ng araw. Gusto kong namnamin ang pakiramdam ng nasasaksihan ko ang pagpapalit ng araw. DUH! birthday ko na kaya maya-maya lang! kaya aun, dilat ang aking mga mata bago sumapit ang alas dose.

5...4...3...2...1...april 10 na! bday ko na! isa-isa nang nadadagdagan ang mga text messages sa cellphone ko. Sa bawat beep ng phone ko, nagmamadali talaga ako tignan kung sino ang nagtxt sa akin. well, ilang beses akong nagkamali. Buong araw akong nakatitig sa cp ko, pero wala. Hapon na noon. nagpapanicna ako. Humihingi na ako ng words of encouragement sa lahat ng maaari kong mahingan. Ka-txt ko na rin ung mga kaibigan ko sa ibang year level para lamang mangiti man lang ako. Pero wala talaga eh.., OO, siguro, napangiti nila ako. Napangiti ako ng lahat ng mga kaibigan ko. Pero yung feeling na parang may kakaiba. Yung feeling na parang may kulang.

Mga magulang ko, kamag-anak ko, kapatid ko, kapitbahay ko, ka-batch ko, mga kaklase ko, mga kaibigan ko, mga stlt... lahat sila, napasaya talaga nila ako. Pero hindi naman ako hipocrito para sabihing 'ok na yun' na parang wala akong feelings. Honestly, may kulang talaga. Isa lang ang kulang. Pero malaki na kaagad yung nawala.

Naku! ayan na! alas onse na! talagang makikita mo ang biyernesanto sa mukha ko! Napakarelihiyoso ko nga daw at talagang hindi ako ngumingiti nung biyernesanto kahit na birthday ko! Kung alam lang nila ang tunay na dahilan.

Kahit na nagpalit na naman ang araw, naghihintay pa din ako. Iniisip ko na lang na baka delayed lang ang messages ng sun. pero hindi pala. Until easter sunday, naghihintay ako. Iniisip ko naman na baka sinakripisyo nito ang paggamit ng cellphone. Pero mali na naman ako. A week after my birthday, naghihintay pa rin ako. Baka naman kasi wala siyang load. Pero again, mali na naman. May load siya, and sure ako dun. Nag-iwan ako sa kanya ng pm, hindi pa rin siya nagreply. Bakit kaya?

hanggang ngayon, habang binabasa mo itong blog ko, naghihintay pa din ako sa text na iyon. ano, mukha akong tanga? ok lang. maghihintay pa rin ako.

Quiz!

2009-04-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

Three things that scare me
1. cockroach
2. tito ko nung summer...
3. closed spaces

Three people who make me laugh
1. Joyce
2. John
3. Ferdyn

Three things I love
1. texting
2. eating
3. watching hot men (haha!)

Three things I hate
1. feelers
2. posers
3. BEING A PERFECTIONIST

Three things I don’t understand
1. MYSELF
2. UP results in a long envelope!
3. Mrs. Buraga

Three things on my desk
1. Cellphone
2. keyboard
3. memoirs of...***

Three things I am doing right now
1. Answering this
2. talking with joyce over the phone
3. looking at his picture

Three things I want to do before I die
1. get a black rose from...***
2. eat all kinds of food
3. make love a lot, i mean A LOT! (honest lng po!)(haha!)

Three things I can do
1. what american girls can
2. award-winning movie
3. make you laugh

Three things you should listen to
1. be be your love - rachel yamagata
2. in the ayer - flo rida
3. everytime i close my eyes - babyface

Three things you should never listen to
1. words from arrogant people
2. statements of a liar
3. psst! (T2)

Three things I’d like to learn
1. other languages
2. calculus
3. understand people

Three favorite food
1. ice cream
2. fries
3. pizza

Three beverages I drink regularly
1. water
2. iced tea
3. root beer

Three TV shows I watched when I was kid
1. powerpuff girls
2. digimon
3. pokemon (i think...)

Three favorite books
1. Gossip girl
2. Summer Share
3. Oliver Twist

Three people I like to tag.
1. Joyce Pimentel
2. Erka Lagria
3. Tasha Evangelista

Graduation Post

2009-04-03T05:35:00.000+08:00

Graduation Ball

it was fun. i love the outfits of my friends, classmates and batchmates. i love the place! kahit na wala ako sa mood magsayaw coz of some reasons, todo pichooran naman kami dun sa tabi ng stage. here are some...

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Graduation (morning)

well, I am at the school to have my bonding moments with the stlt and of course to collect all the signatures of him... and i really love their designs! I also have my lunch there! but not the eeew one! haha!!! here are some of my pics there!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Graduation itself

I was so teary-eyed! buti na lang at nagpapatawa mga STLT kaya hindi ako naiyak! haha!!! pero mamimiss ko talga ang 4aver, STLT, lahat! mamimiss ko kau...
take a look at this photo grabbed from adrian...

cute noh!!!anyweiz! end na ng blog ko ( or i must say, photo gallery!) hahaha!!!

BYUE!

badtrip...

2009-03-24T23:03:00.000+08:00

graduation day is almost there. I dont want it coz i dont want to go out of this school. not actually because of the teachers, but because of the students. specially my classmates. 4aver.

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i hate myself! bakit ko pa kasi nalaman ung ibig sabihin ng three-oh!!!! nakaka-watever!!! i mean, natutulala na lang ako pag naalala ko un. and sorry about my next words but, xet! kabad-trip tlga. parang nabibitter na naman ako pero xemp[re, pinipiit ko na wag... swear! i hope naiintindihan nio ung nararamdaman ko ha...

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bakit naman ganun... bakit kaya ganun pala mag-isip ung mga classmates kong iba... na parang, "######, sorry kung inaasar kita kay melo ha. sorry talaga. wag mo na lang pansinin si melo. basta, gudluck sa inyo ####. kaya nio yan."

i mean, ganun ba ako kasama? hindi naman sa nagseselos ako kaso parang ang sama namn yata ng image ko... putang ina nung nagsabi nung mga lines na yan ha... tangina nia...

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Byue! badtrip...

1234 - plain white T's

2009-02-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

Give me more lovin' than I've ever had
Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely gettin' mad, I'm so glad I found you
I love bein' around you
You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you

Give me more lovin' from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Best that I've had, I'm so glad that I found you
I love bein' around you
You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you
I love you

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words and that's what I'll do, I love you
I love you

1, 2, 3, 4
I love you
I love you

I can relate to the song specially to the highlighted parts. Thanks Joyce for informing me that this song really exist. love it!

Byue!

VI-1 reunion...

2009-02-21T23:33:00.000+08:00

It’s been four years after we finally reunited. Luckily, after four long years, we are now together even for 10 hours. I am so happy just by looking at their faces because it’s like that I’ve seen them only yesterday. Well, of course, change is the only constant thing in this world but I am happy because they are minimal and almost unseen by bare eyes. The jokes are the same and they are all kind to me. I can feel the respect thing since I am now studying at mandsci but I did my best not for them to treat me that way. I even share to some them about my crush and my deeds in school.

Thanks to:
• Justin
• Robina
• Rose Jeanne
• Emariel
• Jamielyn
• Jochelle
• Kenneth
• Raymond
• Christine
• Angelica
• Joven
• John-john
• Michael
• Glory
• Roselie
• Pamela
• Alfredo
• Janica
• Dione John
• Danilo
• Angepina
• Annabelle
• Cherry mae

Though we are not complete, it’s just an on-the-spot reunion. I am informed an hour before the event and some are just shocked by seeing us knocking on their doors. I really can’t believe that our dreams of having a reunion finally come true.

• I just want to share you some of my absorbed knowledge from them (if you can really call it knowledge):

• Four of us already have a baby and one of them was about to give birth to her second baby! It was also shocking for me.

• Usually, girls do use so-en bras, but some of them use bras with foam from Uratex. (it was their prank)
• Our classmate who used to be called “kalbonene” has a new name. it was now “buteteng laot” and she doesn’t really care about it.

• During our drinking session, they introduced me “ginakol”. It was a gin with a chocolate chaser. And it was introduced to them by their teacher.

• They find mandsci a school with lots of handsome people and they actually know Marc Fajardo!!!

• I am the most hard-drinker of them all! We actually emptied two bottles of Generoso. And they are shocked after knowing that I have tried drinking vodka.

• They are fond of saying “jer-jer” and I am aware of its real meaning.

• I have a new crush! His name is Kenneth. He looks like Edward!!! Though he lacks height, he was as white and pure like Marc and his voice was very incredible! I am beside him when we are playing spin the bottle! It was really a good time for me! Another was Alfredo who was a good kisser according to what I have heard. He was tall, fair, and likable.

It seems that they are already planning for the part two of our reunion. I am expecting more kilig moments and bonding time with them.

Thank you for reading my blog. See you again on my next post!

BYUE!

Random Things...

2009-02-13T03:25:00.000+08:00

Haii... 40 hours... I'm not yet sleeping... Just want to share you my thoughts...

1. I just realized that your friends are the most important persons in your life. and in my case, they are better listeners and advisers than my family. I can tell them everything. share them everything, ask them everything I want to know. I want to thank them! Thank you friends!!!

2. Letting go is an EASY task. its irony as you can see. that's why I hate this part right here (pointing to my heart). hahaha... bangag na nga ako... anyway, I hope I can let go soon or else I might die. literally. words can't describe how I might die, but some o my frinds understands it.

3. Friendster is not hot anymore. and I hate it!!!

4. Benjamin Almeda was a nice person/persons and I really can't wait for his/her surprise to us later... I hope he/she reveals himself/herslf...

5. Somehow, the clock is ticking and it only means that sooner or later, we must say goodbye to one another. But I hope even we are all miles apart, 4aver must stay in all our hearts.

That's all for today.

BYUE!

Memories...

2009-02-08T06:47:00.000+08:00

Just woke up on the other side of the bed. I have nothing to do in this computer. I want to upload pictures for my blog! I just want to walk again to the past with these pictures. Some may annoy you, but these are all memorable moments for me.

Take a little look at these:
Our practice for the very historical Christmas Concert...we may look like we're doing nothing but actually, its our break right then.

Picture Time!!! Everybody got their pose!

Whack! after the very successful musical play, its time to celebrate!

'twilight' pose! boom! Love it!

me and my anak ng pasig (part 2) barkada!!! we are such good dancers!

Our adviser with all BEBE...

The Hosts of our remarkable christmas party...

Mrs. Tirones with her smile that means she totally enjoyed our party!

The game for love triangles! and I am there!!!

The whole class of 4aver!

The banana split game!

James and Cheska in their momentum!

The dance number from me and oliver. love it!

In the games, see how close we are...(just hallucinating...)

The end of the party by me...

Also the end of my post. thanks for walking with me through the past happenings of 4aver!

BYUE!

03 february 2009

2009-02-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

It's Daniel's birthday today (happy birthday dan!!!) but it seems that almost everybody, except for those who have their internal conflicts at that moment, are super happy like its their birthday and I am one of them.

Our trip to the venue was enjoying compared to any other trips. We are divided into two batches but we are happy in our each jeepney. Well, in our jeepney, we pushed each other as he/she entered the jeepney... It was fun!

As soon as we are there at the venue, Rose, Joyce and I started the smile in their faces as we dance in the center of the place. It was very tiring for me since I have this asthma but seeing the smile in their faces, for me, means that I have to dance more and more... Tired but contented to see them happy.

The first game triggers me to pursue my acting talent as a University of the Philippines Stages Inc. They are all convinced that I am mad! I am really a good and convincing actor. But, when oliver comes, I can no more hold all my laughters inside me. That's the end of my acting career. hah! Oliver is the only one that can end my career. He can make me laugh even if i'm serious. hahaha...

The eating part. I barely remember this part. Maybe because our mother, Cheska, hyperventilated for the very first time. Though I do not blame her because it is really my choice if i want to help her by massaging her feet or continue my eating pleasure. But I want to help her so I gotta set aside my eating pleasure...

Here comes Gierra Patani. It was very short! I don't know why but that's it! But I really enjoyed watching bryan, marc, and angelique fighting just for a point. But in the end, our team won, thanks to bryan.

Spin the bottle, as usual, is present at the program. Kisses, hugs, and others always push our stomachs to laugh. Swear! it was very funny! and somewhat meaningful for others like me. But I do not want all of you to think that I am thinking bad things. I am just happy because, somewhat, my dreams became reality.

Second level. It was damn funny at first but I admit, some are somewhat disgusted. Looking into it using the four corners, it was not appropriate for our age. But I will defend my side, It is just like a test to test you if you are thinking the other side of the actions. But also, opinions can never be wrong and we have our own words to say. I just leave it that way. (My apology to those who are offended or disgusted)

Now, its time to say goodbye, we have a party to attend tommorrow. It's RC's celebration. But all I can say is, though for a short time (from 5:30 to 9:00) every second are counted. It was a very happy birthday party! Thanks a lot to daniel and his family for everything.

Also, I want to thank Benjamin Almeda for spending some time and effort just for the personalized keychains he gave us. but I am also thinking on what maam Tirones have said, "Don't be happy, there are still surprises that will come. some may make you cry" (Ireally do not know the exact words but it is somewhat parallel to what I have quoted.peace!"

Right Now, I am alone in our house! Unti sunday! I am now announcing that you can drop by here anytime!!! I wil really appreciate that!

i think this is my longest post. I need to end this. Thanks for reading!!!

BYUE!!!

Random Feelings

2009-02-03T04:32:00.000+08:00

After a very long time, I am finally calm and happy. Why? I think it’s just that things are doing great these past few days. Is this my luck after the Chinese New Year? Or all of these are God's will? I really don't know.

First, I am now doing great with Mara and Oliver. I really appreciate their efforts. And also, I apologize to them. I think its time to let go. So, I gotta do it, I really need to move on. Yes, of course, it’s not that easy. It requires a very long time. It also requires a very strong heart. Well, I still have my luck because many of my friends are helping me out for they made it easy to move on. Thank God I have them.

Second, uhmm… That’s it! I have nothing to say.

See you all guys later. Let’s celebrate Aaron’s Birthday, I mean Daniel’s Birthday.

Byue!

You Can

2009-01-22T18:35:00.000+08:00

You Can - David Archuleta

Take me where I've never been,
Help me on my feet again.
Show me that good things come to those who wait.
Tell me I'm not on my own.
Tell me I won't be alone.
Tell me what I'm feelin' isn't some mistake.
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love,
You Can.

Save me from myself, you can.
And it's you and no one else.
If I could wish upon tomorrow,
Tonight would never end.
If you asked me, I would follow.
But for now, I just pretend.
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love,
You can.

Baby, when you look at me,
Tell me, what do you see?
Are these the eyes of someone you could love?
'Cause everything that brought me here,
Well, now it all seems so clear.
Baby, you're the one I've been dreamin' of.
If anyone can make me fall in love,
You can.

Save me from myself, you can.
And it's you and no one else.
If I could wish upon tomorrow,
Tonight would never end.
If you asked me, I would follow.
But for now, I just pretend.
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love...

Only you can take me sailin' in your deepest eyes.
Bring me to my knees and make me cry.
And no one's ever done this,
Everything was just a lie.
And I know, yes I know...

This is where it all begins,
So tell me it'll never end.
I can't fool myself,
It's you and no one else.
If I could wish upon tomorrow,
Tonight would never end.
If you asked me, I would follow.
But for now, I just pretend.
If anyone can make me fall in love,
You can.

Show me that good things come to those who wait

>>>>I really love this song.i can really relate to it!hope you'll appreciate it!<<<<

Whatever!

2009-01-22T18:15:00.000+08:00

Just finished drinking my first bottle of beer. And i'm now starting to empty the second. I want to drink more. This is their way to forget things. This is my way of escaping.

I think, really, that i have a good decision. Some got angry with me. Some are snobbing me. They only thought it was my some sort of drama. Well, it is their opinions. I just hope that selfishness isn't the basis of that "opinions".

Can I shout?Why not!

FUCK ME! I HATE MYSELF! I WANT TO DIE! WHAT AM I THINKING? AM I THAT STUPID?

answer: YES!

stupid. that's me by the way. i am doing things that can hurt my friends out there. I am hurting tasha, joyce, mariel, ferdyn, rose, diana, john, erika,loan, anlo, cheska, and even more. i'm crazy...

want some? CHEERS! BEER IS NOT BAD! tHIS CAN REALLY HELP YOU! PROMISE!

BYUE!

Bored!

2009-01-22T02:58:00.001+08:00

Would you really take a bullet for a loved one? Your Result: Yes. OH YES YOU WOULD! It doesn't matter whether its your sisters brothers mothers fathers husbands girlfreinds boyfriends (hopefully you only have one of those [boyfriend]) You truly are a good caring person! Coz you know it would be the right thing to do and that you would get rewarded in the afterlife! Woo Hoo!
No.
Would'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/would_you_really_take_a_bullet_for_a_loved_on">Would you really take a bullet for a loved one? Quiz'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

what kinda guy you shood look for. Your Result: popular go for the guy thats the center of attention. hot. popular. good in bed. great body. the guy every girl dreams of. the guy your mom told you to stay away from. one thats pretty much gunna end up breaking your heart for another girl
chill
nerd
what kinda guy you shood look for. Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What stereotype do you belong to? Your Result: No stereotype not preppy yet not a complete loser. has good friends and doesn't revolve life around their looks or social status. All around good person. usually liked by everyone
Preppy
Jock
geek/nerd
Punk
Emo
Loner
Gamer
What stereotype do you belong to? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I'm sorry.

2009-01-20T03:39:00.000+08:00

Saw you both from the distance,
Saw you from the stage,
Something about the look in your eyes,
Something about your both faces.

I am sorry. But I really have to do this. I hope all of you can understand me. Ireally need it right now.

This afternoon(january 19, 2009), I really do all my best but destiny really was naughty. I walked on a different path but there they are together. I am not angry, maybe just jealous. But the mistake wasn't theirs. It is me who was wrog in the very first place. I am totally wrong.

I really do not wnt to go. Not because I am bitter(like almost everybody are thinking) but because I want to give them some sort of freedom from the evil me. We all know that they can do more things together when I am not around. I want her to be happy on this very day. I really want to. Even though she is inviting me there, but how about him? He might not want to see me there because I am just a hindrance for their sweetness.

My decision was final. I love to go with the whole class, but I will not. I'm sorry,I really need to do this. I hope you don't get it the bad way. I believe that it is the hardest yet best decision for me right now. Enjoy!!!

I wish... I wish!

2009-01-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

Damn... Fuck... Shit...

Not a single foul word can really describe my feelings right now. Not a single foul word can really describe what I feel for them. Not a single foul word...

Physics time (january 15, 2008). Our teacher was late. I have nothing to do. I must write.

Fuck this world. What the hell makes them happy? to see me cry? to see me sad? Damn! I hate it. As if they do not know that I'm weak. Ok, I'm weak! (shouting a hundred times). They do not consider me. They do not consider my feelings. They are all against me(except for my true friends). THEY don't want me to be happy. Fuck them!

For two days that I have been there, it seems not enough. Look, he only talked to me once! For goodness' sake! Why once? Am i a stranger?

well, ma'am is here. And wait,she is talking about "giving chance to others" thingy. I hope my dear classmates realized that I'm dumped here. Dumped. With nobody at my side who can support me. And that is the fuckin' truth. I am alone in this "fight" and for the information of everyone, I have nobody to help me. Even some of my friends are against this. I am almost alone.

Fuck the fact that the whole class (except those who understands me) is laughing about my feelings. Yes, of course, I am laughing too. But this is just to hide my tears inside me. "Why they are all laughing? I am damn serious! This is no joke at all! Believe me for once!"

I wish, I wish, upon a falling star, that I am not in love,
with somebody who might broke my heart.
I wish, I wish, upon a falling star, that I am not living,
living with loving someone with all my heart.
I wish, I wish, upon a falling star . . .

well, i just can't...

2009-01-14T19:48:00.000+08:00

" Kasi sobrang ♥ ni melo si ano eh..."

I think she's right. Maybe i am too much. But how can I know that this is really too much? Is there really a limit? wala naman di buh?

well, I want to apologize for my last post (specially for the both of them) since I was so carried away by my emotions. Maxado lang akong na pacific ocean...

Actually, I am now asking myself. di buh sabi ko kahapon, hindi ko sila papansinin? E bakit isang tanong lang niya sa akin, sagot naman ako kaagad?... nakaka-lurkey di ba? mukha akong tanga... todo drama ako kahapon, tapos bigla-biglang nawala nung kausapin lang niya ako... ganun ba talaga kalakas powers niya over me???

sorry talaga sa mga nasabi ko sa last post ko... sorry talaga...

hulaan niyo na lang kung sino nagsabi nung naka-quote sa itaas...

For what!?!

2009-01-13T20:45:00.000+08:00

Well, its economics time. I am so bored. I have no report so I got zero. The reporter is talking to the board and not to us! I’m gonna write this.

I hate it! Even though I am just a step away from him, he doesn’t even talk to me even a word! But, even though SHE is miles away from him, he is always talking to her! Yes! I am jealous. But I have my point right? Of course they have their right. But I also have mine! Just a little consideration that “duh… I am here!!! Pls. don’t act like that because I can also cry! I’m also a human with a heart!”

I hate them. That’s it! They are acting like they don’t see me, well fine! I am also a good actor. I will also act that they are dead. That they don’t exist. That I do not love him anymore. PROMISE. I will also act. Tingnan natin kung sino ang mas magaling umarte sa aming tatlo.

This is a piece of shit! This is really like a hell! I want to be out of here! Kung hindi lang siguro ako in-love, hindi ko ito mararanasan. Sana pala, pinipigilan ko na ito nung una pa lang…hindi ngayon, hindi ko na kaya…wala na akong magagawa hindi ang umasa sa wala…

what it is?

2009-01-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

I really want to get rid of it. Of loving someone who, in return, is long another person who used to be your bestfriend. I want to get him out of my mind. I want to turn back time so that now, I do not know that he exists. I really want to burn those pictures of me crying, hurting myself, and thinking of leaving this world just because of him. I want to apologize to my friends for almost choosing him over them. I want to hate him. I really want to...

But I just can't. I don't know why but I just can't do it...and i hate it. I hate myself because now, I am doing several stupid things I know I am not supposed to do. and what i hate most is that I am doing these things just because of him! But I am not pointing my fingers on him. I know it is my fault. because i am in love.

and now, even though he has just signed out on ym several minutes after me signing in, I really hate myself smiling. Even though he does'nt send me even a single letter, I am now smiling. even though he is not talking to me (the fact that we are in a same room everyday), I am smiling. Contentment. i can feel it just after I look at him. yes of course, some may understand me and most of you doesn't. But that's the reality with me. Am i crazy? I can say yes. Am i obssesed? also yes.

That's the reality. And I have nothing but to live with it. with the truth that I just can't let him out of my mind because there's a part of me that is refusing to let it happen. What it is?My heart.

define love.

2009-01-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

How can we really define love? how can we know that it is love?Here are some of my personal experiences...

- you will know that it is really love if you are doing stupid things which you usually doesn't do.

-you want him/her to be close to you by any means.

-you are doing EVERYTHING for him/her.

-you just can't live a day without looking to him.

-you want him/her to be happy. but also, you want to be happy.

-you are defending him/her when you're friends are insulting him in front of you.

-you can't get him out of your mind.

-you are talking to his pictures (even though you may look insane but you just don't care!)

-you want him to use you.

well, words can't really describe what love is. Its in the language of your heart.
Loving someone, is like a "hopeless hope". well, it's case-to-case basis...

Questions inside my head...

2009-01-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

napakamisteryoso talaga ng buhay... bago ako pumasok, expected ko magiging maligalig at masaya ang araw na ito, pero mali ako. nakakainis...napakaraming katanungan ang pumasok at patuloy pa ito sa paggambala ng isipan ko. ilan na siguro ang mga sumusunod...

1. nakaka-in love ba talaga ang pang-aasar? di ba Lo-an?

2. taking advantage na ba talaga ang tawag dun?ginusto ko rin naman un di ba?

3. siya ba talaga kumuha ng wallet ni eka at lo-an?lumalaki na rin ang chance na siya un...

4. kailangan ko na ba talagang magsimulang kalimutan siya?e siya ung nagpapaligaya sa akin kahit na wala siyang ginagawa...

5. bawal ba talaga ma-in love sa kapwa mo?e bakit siya ang napili ng puso ko?

nakakainis talaga no... gudluck kung maintindihan niyo yan...